Writing Tips...

Writing With A Disability ©
by Linda Broday

Writing with a disability seems a topic that concerns every writer who took up the notion to put words on paper. Who among us doesn’t have adversity of some kind or another? After all, the Good Lord put us here with trials and mountains to climb. A few are taller than others, but comparatively speaking, writers struggle with tight deadlines, new and different story ideas, spinal problems from sitting so long in front of a computer, or it could be simple as how to stretch a dollar.

What I’m trying to say is that health issues are not in a class of their own. There’s no distinction between that and the other millions of challenges we face in life. It’s all related to your way of thinking and one is not worse than the other.

The bottom line is how badly we want to keep going. How much do we desire to make our corner of the world a better place. And, how much yearning we have to fulfill the longing in our hearts and souls.

Why? Why Not?

Some people ask “why” when hit with a debilitating issue. Instead I prefer to ask “why not.”

After doctors diagnosed me with Multiple Sclerosis five years ago, people couldn’t understand my calm acceptance. They couldn’t believe I didn’t rant and rave with bitterness or have a sense God had betrayed me.

BECAUSE I CHOSE NOT TO.

I realized early on that if I let pity take hold, I would drive away friends and family. No one wants to be around someone who is bitter or who indulges in a pity party. They might take a little, but after a while, I knew they’d stay away so I couldn’t do that. I NEEDED THEIR SUPPORT AND LOVE. Without that I couldn’t fight this enemy. Plus, it’s a waste of precious time when there’s so many other things left undone. That’s the driving force to stay positive for me.

Sure there have been times when I do get tired of the constant (I’m talking daily, hourly, or sometimes in minute increments) battle against the debilitating aspects of this disease. It’s not easy. Those times of faltering come when I lose focus. I forget what’s truly important. I have to give myself a little pep talk, maybe wipe away a few tears, and then I get on with the business of living . . . of doing all the things that make my life so complete. I focus on being all I can to best of my ability.

Latest figures show 300,000 people in the U.S. alone have MS and 3 million world wide. To date, there is no known cure. No medicine can reverse the effects and nothing so far can prevent further damage.

So Why Not me? To think of myself as better than anyone else is pompous. I’m certainly no more important than Annette Funicello, Montel Williams, or the actress, Teri Garr just to mention a few. MS has them in its clutches and they are far more talented with so much more to contribute to society than do I. MS attacks rich or poor, the common man or someone famous. It’s an equal opportunity invader!!

I have a quote I keep by my computer – I clip these little sayings like others clip coupons. Quotes express ideas and feelings I’m inadequate to put into words.

“The unknown is what it is. And to be frightened of it is what sends everyone scurrying around chasing dreams, illusions, wars, peace, love, hate, all that. Unknown is what it is. Accept it and you have clear sailing.” John Lennon

During one of those dark moments I mentioned, I had an extremely vivid dream. I was walking alone on a pitch dark night. Driving rain beat against my face. The wind kept pushing me back with each step I took and I was freezing because I wasn’t wearing a coat or anything. I had such a sense of abandonment and that I’d never make it home. I couldn’t see anything in the rain and blackness and felt this awful despair wash over me. Then a calm voice spoke close by, “Follow me.” I said, “But I can’t see you. I can’t make it home.” It replied, “You don’t have to see. Follow my voice and I’ll lead you to safety. Just trust and listen.”

That message brought courage and trust in the frightening unknown.

I am not alone!!!

I realize fear is natural. A healthy dose can get us moving in the right direction. Unless we throw in the towel, we’re forced to do many things in the face of fear. A crucial element in defining a true hero is someone who does what he must despite overwhelming fear. We can’t let that paralyze us to where we sit down and say, “I can’t do this. It’s too hard.” We have to overcome it, break its grip so we can get moving.

My brother claims MS stands for Mighty Spirit. I say its Mighty Stubborn. But whichever, I sometimes need the reminder – which my family is glad to furnish. They’ve been a great source of strength that I’d hate to do without.

I don’t intend to give a science lesson, but to realize what MS does I compare it to a wire that’s surrounded by plastic coating. Our nerves are those wires and they have a protective shield wrapped around them. MS eats away that protection, allowing the nerves to short circuit so to speak.

MS affects each person differently. Some people have a portion of the symptoms I do and some have many more. To give you some idea of daily challenges:

* Vision loss – this was the first indicator something was terribly wrong. Everything I see is permanently blurred and I have no peripheral vision. Sometimes I also see double, although that comes and goes. A new part recently developed is my eyes jerking. That makes it very hard to focus, especially when I’m trying to read. They jump around all over the page.

- Dying optic nerves cause vision loss and there is no way to stop it. Who knows when or how long I’ll be able to see.
- It requires regular checkups – new, stronger lenses in my glasses – Enlarged Font on computer – colored background, like a light blue or green – type in bold
- I have to rest my eyes a lot and it sure cuts down on my reading.
- I’ve developed severe eye dryness – helped by plugging drainage ducts to hold moisture in longer.

* I have horrible fatigue, especially during the hot summer months. Heat worsens everything and I’ve even had temporary blindness caused by the heat.
* I’m sick a lot because my screwed up immune system won’t let me fight off germs very well.
* Then, there’s Balance - Falling – Dizziness
* Back Pain when I sit for any length of time – caused by lesions on my spine.
* Slowing of thought processes has begun in the last year – caused by lesions in the left frontal lobe of my brain. In one instance, I turned on the water to wash my hands and couldn’t remember what to do next. That was the weirdest feeling.
* I have a problem pulling up words, making sentences – Flip Dictionary by Barbara Kipfer helps tremendously when my brain shuts down. You can look up the meaning and it gives the word.

- I’ve become the Queen of List makers so I won’t forget things. This will gradually worsen I’m told.

* I have numbness, tingling, and pain -- in feet and hands along with weakness on the right side of my body. I tend to drag my foot when I’m tired, nor can I lift things at times. I make a lot of messes by dropping things

- I’ve accepted fact that someday I may become wheelchair dependent.

I don’t mean to depress, but for the rest to make sense, you have to get an idea of what I face. I never know when I awake in the morning which parts of me aren’t going to work.

Finding Solutions . . . . .

- Be Flexible --- adjusting to the curve balls – hitting what I can
- Write in the mornings on some days and afternoons on others, or sometime it’s a combination, write and take frequent breaks.
- Accept that some days you can’t write at all – try not to panic, to remember you can only do your best. The trick is to write whenever I can and gag that negative voice that tells me how much another author writes and how they maintain a strict writing schedule. I don’t want to hear how many pages others write a day or how so and so begins writing at 8:00 or 9:00 sharp and continues until 5:00 in the afternoon. I don’t compare myself with them. I am me.

The Important thing is -- I write every chance I get - grateful for each page. I can complete a full-length novel -- I can write under a deadline!!! So far, thank the good Lord, I’ve met all my obligations, including travel and autographings.

It’s constant pushing to keep going -- constantly staying focused on priorities.

Many people comment they wish they had my attitude. They can. You can. It doesn’t cost anything. It’s easier to make the best of your life than it is to piss and moan. And, it sure helps your family and friends to cope because they, too, go through a process of acceptance.

I was watching Dr. Phil the other day while I was getting an IV drip and what he said really hit home. “What’s worse than wasting ten years or one year of your life is wasting ten years and one day.” I made the decision long before I ever got MS to use every second of what time I have to the very best of my ability. Let’s face it, under the best of circumstances life is short. We only get a little time so why waste it? I read once how God deposits minutes in our account each morning. If we don’t use those, they’re simply gone. They don’t carry over to the next day. So I want to use up every single one and be able to say when I go to bed that I put it to good use.

Every time self-pity raises it’s ugly head about how life isn’t fair and you feel like giving up on your dream because it’s too hard or requires too much sacrifice, remember that it’s not the ultimate measure of a man where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. Dig deep inside and say, “I can do it.”

Coping with disability is my choice. It’s not extraordinary or courageous. It’s simply logical. Problems are nothing but opportunities that arrive in work clothes. I try to figure out a way to turn negatives into positives. How I keep on the path is by trying to twist each catastrophe or challenge to my advantage. There are moments when success doesn’t look too favorable at first glance, but it may turn out to be.

Consider for a moment the function of bridges. Structures across things make it convenient to get to the other side. They unite people, communities, and countries. They may even save your life under certain situations. Bridges rank toward the top of importance in almost every part of life. Each day we’re given the ability to build more bridges. The more we have access to, the easier living becomes because you can keep crossing over them when need arises.

My bridges offer security and peace of mind so I can be more productive. I sure don’t want to burn any, only build more.

Life is not about being dealt a good hand – it’s about playing a bad hand well.

Faith sustains through whatever comes. Mine brings courage to believe I’ll find a way to write – or do anything else I want. Don’t let anything stop you from realizing your full potential. You’re not alone. Although we may not realize, we never are. Follow the voices that will guide when you can no longer find the way. They’ll lead you home in the darkest of night.

I’m so blessed God gave me this writing gift! I don’t intend to waste any part feeling sorry for myself. Life is what I choose to make it. That pertains to every individual, not just people stricken with disease. Life is exciting and wonderful. We hold the power to make it mean something and to leave our mark proving we’ve been here.

I leave you with this thought by a woman named, Martha Graham.

“There is a vitality, a life-force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action . . . . whether you choose to take an art class, keep a journal, record your dreams, dance your story, or write novels . . . . Because there is only one of you in ALL OF TIME, this expression is unique. If you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be forever lost.”

Keep the Faith, my friends – and GET THOSE STORIES ON PAPER!

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